When I was fresh out of college I went through perhaps the worst heartache I had experienced up until that point in my young life. Changes in relationships, an identity crisis, and a loss of direction combined to create a maelstrom of pain that I had no idea how to navigate through. As it often happens in times like these, I stumbled upon a passage of the Bible - in this case, Exodus, and God's way of leading the Israelites out of Egypt and through the wilderness. A wilderness, I thought. Exactly where I am now.
I don't remember now why or how this idea came about, but I decided to embark on a 40 day journey of reading one chapter of Exodus a day (there are 40 chapters). Probably to pass the time and distract my unemployed self from focusing on my problems. But when I tell you that each day that chapter felt like manna from heaven for my starved and bleeding heart, I mean I began to cling to those words like the life raft that they were. The Bible came alive for me in my pain. It was a unique season in which God spoke to my heart in powerful ways about leaving behind my old crutches of dependency, casting aside parts of my identity that I had clung to out of fear rather than wholeness, and renewing my faith both in Him and the good plans that He had for my future. I emerged from that 40 days, maybe not completely healed, but in so many ways I had become renewed and grounded in a way that proved to be foundational for me later on as I would experience other challenges.
I have since carried the strength and insight I gained in that season with me through many other seasons of change and difficulty--the death of my father, dating and marriage, career changes, family conflict, pregnancy and childbirth, motherhood, moving across the country. It is a treasure that I continue to be thankful for.
The Bible is full of stories of people fallen upon hard times who find their footing and develop their strength and character through those challenges. Joseph being sold by his brothers to the Egyptians, Daniel in the lions' den, Esther becoming queen, David against Goliath, to name the most well-known. Far from being quaint fables with happy endings, these stories are full of anguish, questions, wrestling, struggling for meaning, and ultimately, trust in God's sovereignty.
When you are in the midst of a difficult season in your life, pat answers can do more harm than help. People around you may give you pat answers to assuage their own discomfort with your pain (God will use this for your good, a door is closing but a window will open, God doesn't give you more than you can handle). You already know this does not help. But take courage, because God can and does use your trials to strengthen you and bring you freedom. It's often in these times that talking to someone who is not personally involved in your life can be extremely helpful. I wish that 22-year-old me had someone with whom to process through my pain, a neutral person who was there to reflect back what I was saying, who could listen without judgment, and who could ask the hard questions that needed to be asked. I did not know that counseling was a real option for me back then, I know it would have helped a great deal.
Your pain is an invitation into a greater understanding of yourself. You can navigate this season and find the buried treasure there that will serve you for the rest of your life. I encourage you to find the spiritual and emotional support you need through counseling today.
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